Target Women: Dating Advice

This is a video from the always incredible Sarah Haskins from Current.com:

Sarah always has hilarious come-backs to the ridiculousness that TV, media, and many other sources of constant amusement and eye rolling, have to offer women.

This one in particular discusses the various dating “advice” given to women from television, magazines, and interviews from “professionals” — all having massive stereotypes, being completely heteronormative, and having strict gender roles. And let’s not forget them being incredibly sexist towards men and women!

Go check her out at Current and watch her plethora of other hilarious videos, having to do with:

Hair

Doofy Husbands

Lady Friends

Laundry

Wedding Shows

Yogurt

…and so much more!

Feminism and Veg(etari)anism

* DISCLAIMER: This post is mostly a stream-of-conscience type post. It is lengthy, and composed primarily of ideas in my head that I wanted to attempt to share. *

I was thinking about how, in my experience, people feel the need to question me when it is revealed that I consider myself a feminist. Later, I was thinking about how people also feel the need to question me when it is revealed that I am vegan. So, I began to think about why people ask me about both and how they intersect.

Display of dominance (image from anonymous.org)

This could very, very easily become an essay, so I am going to try to stick to the main points that are in my head.

I started off my self-conversation rather simply — most of the time veganism and feminism go against the norm in US society, so of course they are challenged. Eating meat and sexism are “simply how things are”.
But, quickly my self-conversation turned a bit more complicated.

There is something inherently patriarchal in eating meat. I felt this in my bones long before I could pinpoint it. I do get criticized for “being a pussy”, or whatever disgusting use of words one would like to use, because I am vegan; however, my boyfriend gets more of the shit-storm than I do. It’s just not manly to be vegan!

In our patriarchal society, eating meat would be one of the characteristics that falls under the “masculine” category. Why is this? Some may say it comes from the cave-people days, but haven’t we evolved far from that, and didn’t the women partake in the meat eating (and often times hunting) as well? How did this become “masculine”? I think that it is because it shows dominance over another creature, and men have historically been doing this for thousands of years, so of course it is “manly”. Since women are known as the peace-keepers, the “fair sex”, and being “one with nature”, it is not as surprising to hear a woman say that they are vegetarian or vegan — because women just think furry things are cute! It can’t go deeper than that!

There are men that recognize oppression and act accordingly — be it fighting for equal rights, identifying as a feminist, being vegetarian/vegan, not being racist, not being homophobic, and so on. And there are women that do the same thing.

It’s amazing how much gender roles affect every aspect of a person’s life. Even down to the food that is considered acceptable to eat. (Somewhat similar to the idea that men drink beer, and women drink fruity drinks. I have often seen men give one another crap for drinking a “girly drink”, and I have also had a number of men confide in me that they do, in fact, like consuming drinks that taste good, but they don’t because it isn’t manly).

So, why is it that many feminists decide to stop eating meat?

When I first became vegetarian, I didn’t realize that I was also making a feminist statement. I also didn’t realize that the two had anything to do with one another.

A woman depicted as meat cutlets (image from wordpress.com)

I did a bit of research and found that a few books have been written about this topic, some eco-feminists have written about the intersectionality of feminism and veg(etari)anism, and there has been quite the chatter in forums and on blogs about this dynamic. A popular UK feminist blog, The F Word, wrote about this, citing author of The Sexual Politics of Meat, Carol J Adams, by saying:

Images of butchering suffuse patriarchal culture. A steakhouse in New Jersey was called ‘Adams Rib’. Who do they think they were eating? The Hustler, prior to its incarnation as a pornographic magazine, was a Cleveland restaurant whose menu presented a woman’s buttocks on the cover and proclaimed, “We serve the best meat in town!” Who? A woman is shown being ground up in a meat grinder as Hustler magazine proclaims: “Last all meat issue”. Women’s buttocks are stamped as ‘Choice Cuts’ on an album cover…

Drawing from the author’s mention of “Adam’s Rib”, even the christian idea that women were born from a part of a man’s body (notably a part that is often consumed — the rib), compares a woman to meat upon creation.

Perhaps the idea of not desiring to dominate over any living thing is what calls some feminists to veg(etari)anism, but that may be a bit of a stretch in some cases.  Or maybe people who think more about social structures also end up thinking more about their food, or vice versa.

I’m going to end this now and let the reader brew on this for a little while.  But, I will leave you with good reading material about this matter.

“Are You a Breast or a Leg Man?” – The F Word

Vegetarianism as Feminism – Naama Harel

Feminist Arguments for Vegetarianism – getcrafty.com forum

Interview with Carol Adams – The Guildfordian

Is Vegetarianism a Feminist Issue? – Adventures of a Young Feminist blog

Food For Thought #3

The organization, Feminist Majority, has a nice video out about feminism with lots-o-celebrity-appearances.  Watch below!

Precious

I just saw the movie “Precious”.  It was phenomenal.

Gabourey Sidibe portraying Precious (image from nypost.com)

I’m a very harsh movie critic — just ask anyone that knows me.  I rarely want to watch movies because I tend to hate what Hollywood has to offer, and can rarely justify spending so much money for an hour and a half of lacking amusement.

Precious was more than worth it.

Precious is based off of the 1996 novel Push by Sapphire.  It is about an overweight, teen-age, poverty stricken black woman, (fantastically portrayed by Gabourey Sidibe) and her life experiences and struggles.  And waaayyyyy more than that.

The movie is so powerful.  Samhita from Feministing wrote at the beginning of a post about Precious, “[Editor’s Note] I haven’t seen Precious yet, but I have read about it endlessly and already cried just reading reviews.”

The NewYorkTimes.com reports that at the Cannes Film Festival “the film received a 15-minute standing ovation,” and the film won three awards at Sundance.   The article also explains why the director/producer, Lee Daniels, and actress Mo’Nique gravitated to making this film:

In part, Mo’Nique was intrigued by the role of Mary Jones because, she says, she was abused by a brother when she was a young girl. The abuse supposedly began when Mo’Nique was 7 and continued for four years. “We wanted people to see the illness,” Mo’Nique explained. “Lee said, be a monster. And my brother was that monster to me. When Lee said, ‘Action,’ that’s who I became.”

The movie is filled with issues of racism, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy, poverty, sexism, HIV, weight issues, literacy, love, forgiveness, pain, hatred, self-hate, and so many more.

Movie poster (image from examiner.com)

People can walk away from this film feeling varying emotions as Latoya wrote on Jezebel.com, “Movies are subjective things, and are highly subject to the viewers interpretation. So even if Daniels’ intended the movie to be a portrait of black life that isn’t part of the “Huxtable/Cosby world,” is that how the audience will interpret it?”

The main issue that I saw with this movie was the representation of the lighter-skinned person saving the darker-skinned person. 

I’ve never had the privilege (yet) of reading Push, but from what I’ve heard, the teacher in the book was supposedly darker skinned with locks, but the teacher in the film, portrayed by Paula Patton, is light skinned with straight hair, and so is Precious’ councilor, portrayed by Mariah Carey. 

However, the film does depict the self-hatred Precious has within her and her desire to be white, or lighter skinned, because that is what society has told her is beautiful.  It is painful to watch how horrible this social-working is, and how it really can dominate one’s life.

I advise everyone to go see Precious!

UPDATE: Keith Bardwell Resigns

The Louisiana Justice of the Peace, Keith Bardwell, who denied an interracial couple a marriage lisence (see this post, below, for full story) resigned on November 3rd.

Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay, the couple denied a marriage license by Bardwell (image by Ken Tillis, CNN).

The AP reports that Bardwell resigned with a one-sentence statement to Louisiana’s Secretary of State, saying, “I do hereby resign the office of Justice of the Peace for the Eighth Ward of Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, effective November 3, 2009.”

His resignation came after many calls for him to be removed as Justice of the Peace, including calls from Governer Bobby Jindal, and Senator Mary Landrieu, according to the New York Times Online.

This is obviously way overdue — especially considering that he says that he has done this before.  It would have been nice if he had actually learned that he, in fact, did something very wrong (not to mention illegal), but instead he simply resigns with a one-sentence statement.

Well, at least he is no longer on the job!

Food For Thought #2

Feminists DO have a sense of humor!

Love it:

The Cleveland Serial Killer (And Why You Probably Haven’t Heard About It)

Anthony Sowell is a rapist.

He also is believed to be a serial killer.

11 bodies have been found on Sowell’s rented property so far, and police say they are going to start looking in the walls and all over the house and land.  One woman that was found is said to have been murdered only about three weeks ago, while some of the other women are believed to have been murdered up to four and a half years ago.

The Associated Press reports that Sowell is an ex-marine that has served 15 years in prison for raping a pregnant woman in 1989– and so far there are at least two more women who have come forward saying that he raped them as well.

The Cleveland Serial Killer, Anthony Sowell (image from mirror.co.uk)

He targeted only Black women, many of whom were addicted to drugs or alcohol.  There were multiple reports of him horribly abusing other women since he has been released from prison — ranging from choking to rape.

According to a UK web site, Times Online, neighbors and local businesses say that Sowell smelled horrendously, and reeked of dead bodies.  The smell was so bad that a sausage factory beside his house was to blame, and they spent $10,000 “fixing” what was said to be causing the smell, but they soon realized that the smell was not coming from them.

This is such a disgusting and shocking case, but what I may be more shocked about is how difficult it is to find any news coverage of this.  How does something like this go undiscussed as if it didn’t even happen?  I found more UK sites covering the story than US sites, even though this happened here in the US.

Jezebel has a great post up discussing five reasons why the story has flown under the radar.  They list their five reasons (followed by further explanation) as followed:

1. All The Victims Were Black

2. Many Of The Victims Were Drug Users Or Had Run Into Trouble With The Law

3. Previous Reports Regarding Sowell’s Behavior Went Ignored

4. The Police Didn’t Take The Missing Persons Reports Seriously

5. His Neighbors Saw Sowell As Strange, But Non-Threatening

They follow up by saying, “then again, Jeffrey Dahmer was supposed to be a nice, non-threatening guy as well.”

I think that all of the reasons they list are completely accurate.  I also think that it is telling (and true) that Jezebel listed the victims being Black as the first reason, because I think this has a lot to do with it.  The fact that many of them were drug users definitely contributed to the lack of coverage on the story as well.

All in all, I completely agree with Zach Reed’s quote from the Times Online article: “In my opinion the system is broken.”

I have been known to say often that I do not believe we have a “justice” system in this country — it, instead, is quite often unjust and very much in need of complete repair.  Anyone who disagrees can simply take a look at this case because it is a perfect example of our unjust system at work.  And trust me, there are many, many other cases that can exemplify my point as well.

There is simply no reason why this case has not received the kind of coverage that it deserves, except for the ones above.  If the case had taken place in a White suburb, and all of the victims were White, it would have had guaranteed national coverage in the very least. 

Furthermore, if many of the women weren’t addicted to drugs, but instead were what other people would deem as “respectable”, the situation would have been different as well. 

Maybe the cops would have taken the case more seriously, maybe people would have investigated what the years old horrible smell was, or maybe there would have been more concern for the neighborhood’s well-being if it were a wealthy one.

Maine Repeals Same Sex Marriage

Voters on Tuesday, Novemeber 3rd repealed the state law allowing same sex marriages in Maine.

The New York Times Online reports:

Maine, with its libertarian leanings, had seemed to offer an excellent chance of reversing the national trend of voters rejecting marriage equality at the ballot box. Instead, it became the 31st state to block same-sex marriage through a public referendum.

In the NYT article, there is a quote from Maggie Gallagher, the President of the conservative Christian group the National Organization of Marriage, that I feel must be highlighted.  She says:

“Maine is one of the most secular states in the nation. It’s socially liberal. They had a three-year head start to build their organization, and they outspent us two to one. If they can’t win there, it really does tell you the majority of Americans are not on board with this gay marriage thing.” (emphasis mine)

Maine advocates for same sex marriage let their voices be heard (image from flickr).

After reading the article I had to completely agree with Jessica from Feministing.  She said, “I think Gallagher’s quote – “this gay marriage thing” – really says it all. The contempt practically drips from the words.”

There is one more quote that I want to highlight, coming from a community blogger on Feministing, AndyLC, who lives in Maine and watched the results come in alongside organizers:

I cried long and hard last night as we drove back from Bangor to Ellsworth, and then as I drove myself back to Bar Harbor. And I know that, had we won, there wouldn’t have been heartbroken people on our opposition’s side crying. Their campaign was about fear and homophobia and lies. Ours was about love. I just don’t understand, and I don’t know I ever will.    (emphasis mine)

I think this quote does a great job of showing the differences of the two sides regarding same sex marriage.  To me, there really are no reasonable explanations for why anyone would not allow same sex marriage.  The only reasons coming from that side deal with not wanting to “redefine marriage”, homophobia, and denying love and happiness to all people.

I think it is absolutely horrible and unethical that people would deny others the right to be married if they want to based stricltly on the fact that they are not heterosexual.  What makes it so much worse to me is that the hopes of so many people are raised when laws allowing same sex marriages are passed, and then it all gets torn away in one single day.

I really don’t see why gay marriage is even such a big issue.  How many times am I going to have to say that we all need to get our politics and religious beliefs out of the bedroom when we are dealing with two consenting adults?  There are so many other fights that are actually worth fighting.

Interracial Couple Denied Marriage License

A justice of the peace from Louisiana refused to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple this week.

Claiming ‘concern for any children’, and his ‘experience that interracial marriages don’t work’, Keith Bardwell showed his true colors through denying the couple the license.

The AP reports:

“I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves,” Bardwell said. “In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer.”

If he does an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.  (Emphasis mine).

The couple, Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay plan to contact the U.S. Justice Department to file a discrimination complaint.

This has sparked intense controversy, and many people seem to be surprised by the blatant racism of Bardwell’s decision.

Some comments from readers on the website thinkprogress.org shed light on the situation:

SKdeA says:

Equally? Seperately, but equally, right?

Spiracles says:

“I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves.”

Otherwise known as “life.”

Progressive blogs such as Racialicious, Feministing and angry asian man have written about this in order to highlight the ridiculousness of Bardwell’s decision.  Racialicious writes, “Please file this under “racism without racists.”  Or “I have black friends.””, while Feministing and angry asian man focus on Bardwell’s ignorant attempt at reasoning, such as this gem: “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.”  Seriously.

I’m just glad to see so much coverage on this story, which allows people to realize that no matter how much people try to say so since Obama’s election, we are not in a “post-racial” society.  Not at all.

On a slightly related note (seeing as these things tend to be intertwined), I would like to draw attention to this quote from the AP’s article:

“It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009,” said American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzman. “The Supreme Court ruled as far back as 1963 that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry.”

Ahem, homosexuals, anybody?

Can we please just get this situated and allow people who are in love to express it in whatever sort of ceremony they may (or may not) want?

Take Back the Night at GMU

George Mason University held a Take Back the Night rally on October 6th, at 7:30pm until about 10:00pm.

Students gathered at the North Plaza to show support in ending sexual violence, as well as providing a safe zone for people to discuss experiences that they have had, or be there to comfort others.

Connect2Mason.com reports that the speakers at the event were Indira Hernard from the D.C. Rape Crisis Center, a Women’s Studies professor at Georgetown and George Washington University, and Elizabeth Prescott, a poet from the Washington, D.C. feminist poetry collective. 

There was also a fantastic performance from a Mason student group, Loving Her Fiercely, as well as speakers from Mason’s Women & Gender Studies Department, and Sexual Assault Services.

I attended TBTN at Mason for the third year in a row this year.  It is an incredibly powerful experience that is often bittersweet.  It is so great to see so many people crowded around listening to the speakers — all different ages, sexes, and races.

What adds to the powerfulness of the situation is when they open the floor for people to speak about their own personal experiences.  So many people that surround you, that pass you everyday at school, go to the front to talk about the sexual violence that happened to them — it really shows just how many people (unfortunately) are effected by sexual violence everyday.

The atmosphere is very supportive and loving.  There are many people hugging one another, and this year there were a number of “comfort dogs” around that are trained to comfort people when they need it.

After the speakers and the open floor, the group goes on a candle-lit march around campus.  Afterward, there is a catered reception in the JC at the Women and Gender Studies Center.

Take Back the Night is an event that has been going on since the late 1970’s and continues today, according to the official TBTN website.  The dates vary from year to year, as well as from event to event.